Friday, December 4, 2009
Five Course Meal.
1. Crepes stuffed with shrimp and baked in Emmenthal and Guyere
2. Frogs Legs
3. Cassoulet de canard... duck, my favorite food.
4. Camembert cheese
5. Tarte au citron (lemon)
I'm still full and I can't wait to go back.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
Flip Out.
Fast forward to Monday afternoon. Not only was this my last class of the day, it was my fifth, I have a pretty bad cold and I'm still exhausted from the weekend. It was the 3eme class, usually my favorite to teach because they are the oldest, 15 to 16, and know the most English, so it's fun and I can joke around with them, etc. This class is always a little rowdy and there is this one kid who literally. never. stops. talking. Then there are these three OBNOXIOUS girls who sit in the back talking the whole time. There are two boys who are great and always answer my question, though they often tell me about how interested they are in Hitler and the Nazi movement... you get the picture. So, in order to practice the past tense, I had them create a story together as a class and I would write it on the board. I had done this is a class earlier in the day with much younger students and they did it perfectly... little did I know what would unfold.
I have never seen such a simple exercise be so complicated for people. Everyone was yelling and screaming and saying the dumbest things I have ever heard. I stopped the class and said calmly, "I am sick, I cannot yell and I don't feel well, please be nice to me and let's do this activity quietly." I repeated in French. I guess it was mess with Alissa day because things got worse. Finally, I had it. The kid that didn't stop talking was, obviously, talking. What transpired next will be written in English, but when it happened it was a mixture of French and English... and in a very loud tone of voice.
Me: I'm sorry, honestly, do you EVER stop talking????
Loud mouth: What? I'm not talking, I'm not even talking now, I didn't do anything....
Me: Oh my god, you're still talking... for the rest of the class I don't to hear your voice
Loud mouth: I don't understand, I didn't do anything, I'm not talking, I'm just sitting here...
Me: STOP TALKINGGGGGGG! (mutter things under my breath in English)
Me to the whole class: I do not understand what is so difficult about this exercise. It is the simplest thing we can do with the past tense and I know you know how to do this!! The 12 year olds did this activity earlier and they did it perfectly, you kids can't even form one sentence. Do you think you're dumber than they are??? It looks like you are. When I say stop talking, I mean stop talking. When I say stop hitting, I swear to God you better not lay one more finger on anyone. When I say give me a phrase in the past tense, DO IT!! (By the way, this is how French teachers talk to their classes all the time...)
Girl in the back mocks my accent, I whip around at her
Me: EXCUSE ME??? Do I mock your English?? Dooo I moqu-e yourrr engggleeesh w-hen zooo speeeek like deees? Izzz deees bet-tear w-hen I speak-e like deees? I do not mock your English when you speak with your awful accent, never mock my accent, I am not French and I never will be. I am your teacher, pay attention or leave now.
Class goes silent. Awkward. I bring them back to their teacher.
I get the other half of the class and try to do the same activity. Instead we start talking about drugs and swears. Fail, but they were much better than the first half. The bell rings, I book it upstairs to my room and pass out for 3 hours.
So there you go, my first official flip out in France. Don't judge me.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
DINDE!

I took my usual, 4.5 hour train ride south to the coast on Wednesday. Upon exiting the train station, I hear gun shots. Curious, I thought, this can't be good and/or safe. I look around to see droves of people with banners and signs. Ah oui. Une greve (a strike). France may be famous for its wine, cheese and bread, but number four is probably their strikes. Everyone in France strikes; for example: gynocologists, ski lift operators... this strike? The wine makers of Languedoc. So, the streets were FILLED with a mob of angry, striking wine makers. Riot police were everywhere... SDFs (refer to earlier post) were running around with flares and fireworks. Me? Where was I? Unable to take the tram to my friends place, I was stuck in the MIDDLE of this strike. There weren't actually guns, they were... cannons? Trash cans were on fire, people were chanting and I was carrying 30 lbs of groceries trying to get away. Someone even threw a flare at me. Quoi????Well I made it safely a la maison and was eventually able to take the tram chez Darcy, who was hosting the grand Thanksgiving feast. There, Americans were whipping up all sorts of seasonal dishes: stuffing, sweet potato pie, the works. The next day, a friend and I spent the day cooking and preparing for the big event. We created a beautiful table scape of ginko leaves and hazelnuts and set up for our big ol' turkey. Oh. Except in France, people don't really eat turkey, the largest turkey we could get was 4 kilos. 8 pounds. There were 30 of us. Everyone arrived to Darcy's place with wine and food in hand. We had pumpkin pies, foie gras, Maltese dishes, Algerian dishes... too much food to even comprehend. It was really cool to share Thanksgiving with our friends who are from around the world. Countries represented were Canada, Mexico, El Salvador, Colombia, Australia, New Zealand, Malta, England, Algeria, Greece, France, Jamaica and I'm sure I'm missing a few! It was a great success and will probably be one of my favorite Thanksgivings for the rest of life!

This weekend in Montpellier was also the Fete de Vignes... WINE FESTIVAL. Working at a wine shop for the past several years, I was obviously, for lack of better words, psyched! We all know Bordeaux and Burgundy wines, Champagne, etc, but my region, Languedoc has excellent wine as well! The usual mixture is of Syrah, Carignan, Grenache and Mourvedre, and like my wine shop boss, I love Syrah (Shiraz for you Aussie lovers). At each stand, I sought out their Syrah or their wine with the highest percentage of Syrah. I found one that smelled like my brothers hockey gloves... it was delicious. Well, we ended up tasting for about four hours because everyone was so friendly and interested in us Americans. I got to meet the winemakers of some wines that I sell in the US! It was great.
And now, I am back in Marvejols, doing my teaching thing. My kids are hilarious and obviously spend a lot of time on Google translate because the questions they come up with for me are absurd, inappropriate and amazing. It's almost December, which means it's almost vacation again. Oh la la. It is sad that I won't be with family during the holidays but I have some excellent plans with some friends from Hobart who are teaching lacrosse in England. I left the planning up to them, so I'm not too sure what's going to happen or where we are sleeping, but I trust them... I think. We are going to Amsterdam, somewhere in Germany, Edinburgh and Manchester then I'm heading down to London to catch my flight. My word.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
L'internat
Things I learned:
-Salad in a bag in France, tastes like dirt
-The store brand I buy at the grocery store is Carrefour, sometimes they have items that are even cheaper called "Carrefour discount." These items are fine concerning cookies, soda, camembert cheese but NOT meat.
-One can survive on a steady diet of pears. Count for the weekend? 8.
-I really need a kitchen.
On another note, where I live in the school is called the Internat, aka the boarding part of the school. It's on the fifth floor, just above the science labs. Yes, I live with children. No, I do not hang out with them. We eat together, awkwardly, then I go to my room and listen to them run down the halls screaming until bedtime at 9:30. Sometimes, I stay in the computer lab late, skyping, updating this lovely blog, etc. Suddenly, and without warning, an alarm was installed on the door to the Internat. Me, being ignorant to this new development, waltzed into the Internat around 11pm to be greeted by a screeching alarm. Little boys came running out in their PJs to see who had tried to sneak out of the Internat. No, no. Just me, the awkward, random English assistant. Now I have a key to the elevator so I can outsmart the system. Moral of the story: I live in a cage.
This weekend, I'm heading down to Montpellier again, as usual. Perhaps a day trip is in order. OH! It's beaujolais today, which means the new vintage of wines has arrived!!!! I'm told there will be something going on in Montpellier to celebrate. On verra...
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Vacances



Thursday, October 22, 2009
A List: Things I will never understand.
2. Deodorant. It's not a new, fancy, modern technology. Use it generously, please, especially if you just took a shower with your stupid handheld shower head.
3. Why, seriously, why do people walk around France with their cell phones or MP3 players playing ON BLAST. No headphones. No, I do not want to listen to your music, please put on headphones. I'm glad I got to follow a group of French teenage punks blasting Snoop Dogg. On a bus? On a train? In the streets? This would not be okay in the United States. If someone did this on a city bus in Boston or New York, they would be shot.
4. French people don't put their milk in the fridge. That is disgusting. I don't even need to elaborate on this.
5. Why is everything closed from 12:00 to 2pm? I know that's when one has lunch, but therefore, that means that's when everyone needs to do their stuff; go to the post office, get phone minutes, etc. A two hour lunch break, though nice, is ridiculous.
6. Man purses.
7. The kisses on the cheeks. Sometimes it's nice, sometimes it's like, please do not invade my personal space. Not to mention it's three kisses in my region and in Montpellier. Do you know how long it takes to greet every person in a group with three kisses??? WHICH CHEEK DO YOU START ON??
8. Why does the ATM dispense 50 euro bills if no one accepts them? Having a 50 euro bill is like having no money at all except wildly more frustrating. I know they have change. Please accept my money.
9. I want coffee to go. A big one please.
10. Washing machines: take two hours.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
S.D.F.
On Thursday, I was officially going crazy in Marvejols. I couldn't take one more awkward silent meal with the students and/or teachers and I needed straight up human contact. I took the train down to Montpellier that night so I could enjoy the whole Friday in Montpellier. My friend Lisa was nice (and amazing) enough to let me sleep on her floor, HOMELESS. On Friday we at the most delicious kebabs I have ever had and drank amazing mint tea. After we wandered the markets and did all sorts of taste testing: olives, goat cheese, honey and, oh yes, wine. We were able to try a 60 euro bottle for free... then we went to about 4 other tents. I was in heaven. That night a group of us went to Susanna's apartment for an authentic Austrian dinner, again, amazing.The next morning I woke up early to head off to Aix-en-Provence, where I studied about two years ago. I was so happy to return! I stayed in a hostel just outside of town in what might be considered the "ghetto" area, but the hostel itself was in a park. I then spent the day going to my favorite old cafes, fountains, etc. I met up with a friend from Hobart who is doing a semester in Aix and sat in my favorite Irish pub for a couple hours. Later that night, I had dinner with my host mom and it was SO great to see her. She really was the best host mom! We ate dinner with my friends she had introduced me to from Mauritius and Greece, always so international.

Well, the real excitement happened later, which really explains the title of this entry. After grabbing a drink with my Hobart friend, I headed back to my hostel and arrived there around 1:15 am. Not terribly late, I thought. I walk up to the door of the hostel and it is locked. Curious, I thought. I went to the reception, locked. I went to every single door. Locked. Every window? Locked. Meanwhile it's probably 40 degrees out and at this point 2:30am. I banged on every door to no avail. As I was about to resign myself to either breaking into a car for the night or sleeping under a tree, I found one door open. This door, however, did not lead to the hostel but to an isolated conference room. There, I slept. I put my back again the heater, my scarf around my legs, my purse as my pillow and I "slept" on the tile floor. HOMELESS. I basically was a squatter. At 7am, when reception opened, I met the lady working at the door with a simple question that should have been made very clear when I checked in: "Um excuse me, is there are curfew at this hostel?" She looked at me in shock and said something to the effect of "Putain, did nobody tell you???? How long have you been waiting outside?" Seven hours lady, seven. So I trudged up to my run, crashed on my bunkbed until 10am, when I was forced to check out. Note: never. ever. stay at this hostel.

The next day I ended up taking an earlier train than expected because I was so exhausted. Saying goodbye to Aix for now, I dragged myself to the train station and simply walked onto a train to Marseille without a ticket. I had one for later so I planned on playing the dumb American. In Marseille, I found a train to Montpellier and sat on the floor because there were no more seats and I didn't have a real ticket. HOMELESS. Arriving in Montpellier, again, Lisa let me stay at her place. Instead of showering and composing myself, we went out and found an Irish pub that played AMERICAN football. Well, Giants vs the Saints, don't know if that really counts as real football... Also at this pub we met a group of 15 Englishmen who may have been the rowdiest group of guys I have ever met. Very fun and nice; we even did a little rugby scrum in the streets.
Monday, back to Marvejols. I'm beginning to get tired of living in Lozere, there is little to do and practically no one my age. The teachers are all really nice and welcoming, but after a while I don't feel like answer the questions: "How do you like Marvejols? Have you explored the region much?" Like... no... Fortunately, a teacher at the high school down the road came to my school last week to give me contact info for a Spanish guy that was working at the school that was looking for human contact... like me! I met him for coffee today and we talked for about two hours about how sick we are of Lozere. He even almost left last week because he was so bored! But now we have eachother. His English is excellent and he's going to teach me Spanish. Moral of the story: I have a friend!
Starting on Thursday, I have two weeks of vacation. You know, after working less than three weeks, I'm glad the French government realizes we need a break. Where I'm going for vacation... still no idea.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Encore a Montpellier.
So, we went in three groups to Nimes. One left at 9am sharp, the next around 11am, and my Nimes Dream Team left at 12:43 and literally had to hold the train doors open so we wouldn't lose some stragglers. Nimes was beautiful and filled with ancient Roman ruins, most importantly Les Arenes. We picnicked in a beautiful park and made it back to the train in plenty of time. That night, my friend Margot, from Mexico, had us over for Mexican food, it was delicious and definitely the one thing I miss while I'm abroad! After dinner we ventured out to a club, I guess you could call it. The downstairs was AWFUL European techno music but the upstairs was much more relaxed with jazz, blues and oldies! 
Monday, October 5, 2009
Questions.

After spending far too much time trying to figure out the quickest way to Montpellier from Marvejols, I resigned myself to the 4.5hour train ride through the coastal city of Beziers, not a bad view at all. As always, I was surrounded by punk French teenagers who blast music and smoke cigarettes at every stop of the train; c'est ma vie. All in all, it was a relaxing ride. I got into the city around 5 and booked it to our favorite juice bar where these hilarious guys make us fresh juice while doing magic tricks and playing the didgeridoo. Definitely my favorite place in Montpellier.
The weekend was the full of meeting new assistants, exploring the city and getting to know each othe rbetter. Everyone is finally getting apartments, so we had house warming parties each night. As always, we were quite the multinational group, or as my Maltese friends say "maltinational." At my friend Lisa's apartment we had Americans, French, Algerians, Greeks, Mexicans, Maltese, Germans, Austrians, Colombians and British party goers. Our only common language amongst us was French and occasionally English or Spanish. It was a great time!
Sunday was anther beautiful day spent at the beach. It is gettin a little colder, or so I'm told, but it's still in the high 70s! It was quite windy at the beach so I didn't fully go swimming, but we stayed until sunset and had a great time. After that I had to stay in the youth hostel in Montpellier because my train was at 7am and i didn't want to burden anyone with my presence on their couch. The hostel was an absolute animal house as were the roads that surrounded the building. It was perfectly safe, but definitely not perfectly clean. I showered at a friends place so I wouldn't be subject to hostel showers and I went right to bed as to avoid the rowdy crowd. In my room, which was made up of two bunk beds there was a woman... a 60 year old woman. In a youth hostel. It was odd, but she was, of course, very nice. I guess I just figured there was an age limit!
So this morning, I took the 7am bus and train to Marvejols to arrive at 10am. I saw the same kids from last week, who recognized me immediately and smiled and waved. Upon arrival, I nearly ran to my school to make it to class at 10:30. The teachers here are so flexible, it's incredible! But I got there on timem thankfully. I made it to class to answer more of the same questions, my name, age, etc. It wasn't until my second class that things got more interesting. The following ensued:
Student (Hossni): Do you like pizza?
Me: Yes, of course!
Hossni: Do you like rugby?
Me: Yes, I used to play rugby
Hossni: Do you like to cook?
Me: Yes, I love to cook.
Hossni: Ah bonne, bonne femme. (translation: oh good. good woman.)
Thank god I'm marriage material for this young man of 12 years. But, the day got even better. My next class had the oldest kids in the school, so their English was much more advanced. They had a list of questions for me, but one boy, Guillaume, was much more curious:
Guillaume: Have you ever been on, what do they call it, spring break?
Me: Yes, I went to Florida one year and North Carolina last year.
Guillaume looks absolutely and utterly shocked and horrified. We move on to another question.
Guillaume: Wait. You've been on spring break? It's like, a huge party in the south, non?
Me: Well, I mean, it is vacation for students, so we like to go to the beach, it really depends where you go. Where I went, it was about relaxing and being in a warmer climate.
Guillaume: But, isn't it a huge rave? Don't people die?
Me: What? No... how do you know about spring break?
Guillaume: Well, I know on spring break that what you do is wake up, go to the beach, drink all day, go to raves and finish your day with sex.
Me: Silence. Laughter. WHAT??? No, Guillaume, that's not what it's like... I mean, that's not what it was like where I was... where did you hear about this?!
Guillaume: I've seen a documentary. It's what you all do, non?
Me: Alright, well, spring break isn't like that. I don't do that. Oh my god.
The rest of the day went on without any other hugely ridiculous question. Though in my class, with the youngest students of the school, a couple of students brought me presents. One brought me a picture of an airplane, another brought me brochures about Marvejols and another pictures of her farm with captions in the old language of the region, Occitan. The best gift was definitely the bit of tin foil filled with dried mushrooms. Apparently mushrooms are really expensive in France, but they grow naturally around here. JACKPOT.
Other than that, my day ended with a bunch of boarding students inhaling flan in the cafeteria at dinner, which promptly came out of their noses. Pretty average night. It's their bedtime now, so they're starting to calm down as they run by my door yelling "goooood nighhhhhht."
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Maladroit!
Today was my first day as an actual teaching assistant. I had four classes with two professors. All the students had to prepare questions for me. I had the usual question "how old are you," "where are you from," "why are you here." But I had some other, more interesting questions:
-Do you have a boyfriend?
-Do you like muscle-y men?
-Do you like diamonds?
-Do you have a dragon or gorilla?
-How old is your mother?
-Do you live with your husband?
These kids were clearly reading off of a vocabulary list, too funny. In each class there was also a Don Juan who would ask repeatedly if I have a boyfriend and why not. One asked, or rather stated, "you are beautiful, you need a boyfriend." Thank you, 11 year old boy. A+.
After my classes, I trekked off to the train station to buy my ticket for Montpellier this weekend. During my walk, I discover the Hotel de Ville (town hall) and the library, both in beautiful, old buildings, pictures to come soon. After walking up a hill for what seemed like an eternity, I reached the tiny train station to find one person working the entire station. I purchased my ticket and timed my walk back to the school for future reference. Mind you this is from absolutely one end of the town to the other: 20 minute walk. I stopped in a cafe, because, well, I have hours of free time... and finally someone talked to me! This nice couple said something to me about mushrooms and the only thing I could respond was "pardon??" and eventually, "je suis americaine..." After that, they spoke slowly to me in French so I would understand. It was nice to have contact outside of the school and with people at least in their 20s... oh, and the same drunk man on his third beer was there again. Nice little afternoon.
My first week in Marvejols has been good, pretty uneventful, but good and relaxing. I leave for Montpellier tomorrow to meet up with some assistants and to enjoy the (still) beautiful 80 degree weather. I return Monday morning to meet 4 more classes of kids... how I will ever keep them straight, I'm not sure.



