Flip Out.

After two long months of teaching English to young middle schoolers, I finally had my first freak out. My classes can get a little unruly, but it's usually because everyone is speaking at the same time because they're super excited to be in the presence of an American, no joke. I often have to hush my classes or yell for a second, but they are, in general, very good.

Fast forward to Monday afternoon. Not only was this my last class of the day, it was my fifth, I have a pretty bad cold and I'm still exhausted from the weekend. It was the 3eme class, usually my favorite to teach because they are the oldest, 15 to 16, and know the most English, so it's fun and I can joke around with them, etc. This class is always a little rowdy and there is this one kid who literally. never. stops. talking. Then there are these three OBNOXIOUS girls who sit in the back talking the whole time. There are two boys who are great and always answer my question, though they often tell me about how interested they are in Hitler and the Nazi movement... you get the picture. So, in order to practice the past tense, I had them create a story together as a class and I would write it on the board. I had done this is a class earlier in the day with much younger students and they did it perfectly... little did I know what would unfold.

I have never seen such a simple exercise be so complicated for people. Everyone was yelling and screaming and saying the dumbest things I have ever heard. I stopped the class and said calmly, "I am sick, I cannot yell and I don't feel well, please be nice to me and let's do this activity quietly." I repeated in French. I guess it was mess with Alissa day because things got worse. Finally, I had it. The kid that didn't stop talking was, obviously, talking. What transpired next will be written in English, but when it happened it was a mixture of French and English... and in a very loud tone of voice.
Me: I'm sorry, honestly, do you EVER stop talking????
Loud mouth: What? I'm not talking, I'm not even talking now, I didn't do anything....
Me: Oh my god, you're still talking... for the rest of the class I don't to hear your voice
Loud mouth: I don't understand, I didn't do anything, I'm not talking, I'm just sitting here...
Me: STOP TALKINGGGGGGG! (mutter things under my breath in English)
Me to the whole class: I do not understand what is so difficult about this exercise. It is the simplest thing we can do with the past tense and I know you know how to do this!! The 12 year olds did this activity earlier and they did it perfectly, you kids can't even form one sentence. Do you think you're dumber than they are??? It looks like you are. When I say stop talking, I mean stop talking. When I say stop hitting, I swear to God you better not lay one more finger on anyone. When I say give me a phrase in the past tense, DO IT!! (By the way, this is how French teachers talk to their classes all the time...)
Girl in the back mocks my accent, I whip around at her
Me: EXCUSE ME??? Do I mock your English?? Dooo I moqu-e yourrr engggleeesh w-hen zooo speeeek like deees? Izzz deees bet-tear w-hen I speak-e like deees? I do not mock your English when you speak with your awful accent, never mock my accent, I am not French and I never will be. I am your teacher, pay attention or leave now.

Class goes silent. Awkward. I bring them back to their teacher.

I get the other half of the class and try to do the same activity. Instead we start talking about drugs and swears. Fail, but they were much better than the first half. The bell rings, I book it upstairs to my room and pass out for 3 hours.

So there you go, my first official flip out in France. Don't judge me.